I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
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Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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