Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."

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  (407): I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me." http://tfl.nu/vao0
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet

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  (440): I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet http://tfl.nu/p3em
  Replies (27) Good night (6200) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  They have edible shot glasses at target.

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  There really is a God.

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  (812): They have edible shot glasses at target. (1-812): There really is a God. http://tfl.nu/0gpe
  Replies (24) Good night (5916) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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  (974): View more from

  You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.

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  (974): You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it. http://tfl.nu/orv6
  Replies (28) Good night (7813) Bad night (708)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.

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  (574): there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk. http://tfl.nu/a189
  Replies (8) Good night (4269) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (+47): View more from Norway

  i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls

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  (+47): i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls http://tfl.nu/1fkx
  Replies (48) Good night (10407) Bad night (949) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet

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  (215): Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet http://tfl.nu/qzss
  Replies (11) Good night (4801) Bad night (1249) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.

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  (207): she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait. http://tfl.nu/lngn
  Replies (10) Good night (1345) Bad night (3134) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.

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  (517): After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders. http://tfl.nu/u1xt
  Replies (19) Good night (2902) Bad night (676)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt

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  (219): Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt http://tfl.nu/6y5k
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.

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  (+44): On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling. http://tfl.nu/fq4v
  Replies (0) Good night (778) Bad night (1058) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.

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  (619): I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time. http://tfl.nu/u8ll
  Replies (27) Good night (890) Bad night (3748) Order T-Shirt
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  (213): View more from California

  holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow

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  (213): holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow http://tfl.nu/whvj
  Replies (5) Good night (1495) Bad night (391) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.

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  (206): be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age. http://tfl.nu/oer4
  Replies (10) Good night (950) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.

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  (303): My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief. http://tfl.nu/edfe
  Replies (3) Good night (887) Bad night (283) Order T-Shirt

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