Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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