"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
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You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
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What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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