I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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