He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
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The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
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I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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