I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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