I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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