Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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