I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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