I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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