if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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