The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize