I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
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Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
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I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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