ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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