They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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