So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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