so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize