my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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