I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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