you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize