and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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