He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
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his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
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If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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