my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize