when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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