i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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