Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I stole a fireplace last night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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