Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize