dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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