dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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