My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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