Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize