we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
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he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
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It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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