he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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