I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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