What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
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You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
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I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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