K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
nutella sex= disaster
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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