I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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