I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize