I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize