hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize