Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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