Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize