Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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