You smell like stripper and shame
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
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