i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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