Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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