Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize