It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize