i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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